Being a single Christian woman can have its own rewards and risks as there are choices in dates that have to be made that would not be an issue for other women. You want to find a man who is Christian like you and also who has those good qualities most women seek in their men. While this may seem like a tall order, it is not difficult to weed out those men who are not marriage or husband material so you can concentrate on those who are right.
Why it is Important to Weed Out the Wrong Men
At the end of the day, you do not want to fall in love with a man who is just totally wrong for you. If you exert your time and energy into a man who does not have the right qualities then you may wind up in a marriage that you cannot get out of with children who are not raised in the Christian faith. It is not uncommon for a woman to fall head over heels with a man who is not good without ever intending to. So take the time to get to the right man so when you do fall in love, he has the values and character that you are looking for.
Asking the Right Questions
The following is a list a questions you can ask a man you meet before you date him. Keep in mind, a good man will never have a problem answering these questions for you if he really cares and wants to be with you for the long term. A man who does not answer these questions should be avoided at all costs because he is hiding something and it usually is not something good.
- Is He Sorry for His Sins? – It is human nature to sin as we all know and while Christians do try to live a sin free life, there are times when everyone slips up. Being sorry for sin is the first step to atonement so it is important that the man you are with can own up to his sins and feel bad about them. Those that cannot are not the men you want to be with and could possibly be sociopaths.
- Does He Have Too Much Pride? – A man who is too prideful may only be dating you for how it makes him look to others. While it is one thing to be proud of the person you are with, taking pride too far can lead to dangerous temptations. The man you want to be with should be more proud of you than he shows in himself. This does not mean he should not want to be the best person he can be, but having pride in an expensive house and nice car is not a good trait. Instead, he should show his pride in the works he does for others without expecting praise for it.
- Is He Humble? – Does he treat everyone the same no matter who they are? Is the server at the restaurant just as important to him as the pastor at your church? If he can honestly say yes and you can observe this in him then he is a humble man. He does not put stake into the power trips of those who are well to do and everyone is an equal in his eyes.
- Is He Patient? – Yes, patience is a virtue but it not one that everyone posses and it is a character trait that you should definitely look for in a man. At the end of the day, this is the man who may end up being the father to your children. Do you want a man who patiently answers all your children’s questions about God and life or a man who does not have time for them? The answer to this question is pretty obvious, isn’t it?
- Do Things Anger Him Easily? – A man who gets angry quickly is probably impatient as well so while you may not see the signs of his impatience, he will not be able to his anger. It takes self control to curb anger and while everyone feels anger, it is how we deal with it that matters. The man who is angered easily may lash out physically as well as mentally and emotionally. Watch how he reacts at these times and see if he deals with his anger in a healthy way by talking it out or if he simply lashes out and apologizes later.
- Is He a Kind Person? – A kind person can not only speak words of love be he can show you how he feels in the little things he does for you. This does not mean he buys you expensive pieces of jewelry but perhaps he makes you a nice lunch and brings it to work for you. Maybe he knows you need comforting and he is there with a welcome shoulder. These are signs of a kind man and you can spot him because people want to be around him because of his niceness.
- Is He Jealous? – Jealousy can be volatile and can turn someone into another person altogether. While he may seem kind and patient, but as soon as another man talks to you or pays you more attention than he thinks you should be paid, he turns into an animal. This man should be avoided at all costs. If he ever shows these signs before you are married, not matter how much you love him, you should reconsider the relationship. This will not get better after the wedding and in fact he can become violent towards you.
- Is He Respectful? – A respectful man will open your door for you and ask you what you would like to do on a date. He will also respect your wishes about sexual issues that may come up before the wedding and would never expect any more from you than you are comfortable with. Any man that pressures you to go against your faith is not worth your time or you love.
- Does He Put Anything Above God? – In a Christian relationship, God is number one and everything else falls into place behind Him. Does this man miss church because he has a business meeting that is more important to him? Will he stay at home watching a sporting game rather than show his devotion to God? If he cannot put the Lord first, then you nor your children will be first before his work and what he wants.
- Does He Share Your Values? – Finally, the man you want to date and ultimately spend your life with should share your values and moral code. Your potential children will be raised by this man so you want him to instill the same values that you have. A good man will do this; a man you do not want to be with may try to undermine your morals to your children in his actions.
If you can find a man who you can say has all of the characteristics listed above, then you have found a man worthy of your time and attention. A good Christian man can be hard to find but the search is well worth it in the long run. He is the one you raise your children with and who you share the rest of your life with so make sure he is a man you want to be around for a very long time.
The dating scene is not always easy. It’s even harder when you practice a certain faith and are looking for a mate that shares your morals and values. Christian men often make some common but serious mistakes when dating and looking for love. These mistakes can put you on the wrong path and you might then wonder why you can’t find your Ms. Right.
Big Dating Mistakes
When you make these mistakes in dating, you can get in your own way of finding happiness. Your mental state can affect who you attract to you and making certain mistakes might cause you to waste time with the wrong person instead of finding the woman who God has planned for you.
Here are some common dating mistakes men make:
Going After Looks Alone: There’s nothing wrong with a pretty girl but Biblical studies tell us we should look for more than just the outward appearance. While it is true that even Christian men will look at appearance before judging a woman’s faith. While we are all made to have a physical attraction to our mates, we do still have to be careful that we are not going for looks alone. The outward appearance is easily judged but it is what is on the inside that is most important. If you don’t take the time to look deeper, then you close your doors on potential life partners. Are you looking for God’s will in your life or only looking for those you find the prettiest?
Fear of Rejection: Fear of rejection has been holding men back on the dating scene for pretty much forever. While it is not attractive to be over-confident or cocky, it is good to have confidence. You don’t want to be afraid to talk to her or afraid to ask her out because she might say no. When you never take that chance, you never know. It’s possible she’s been waiting all this time for you to ask. Also, how will you handle problems or challenges that come across in your relationship and your lives if you are too afraid of rejection to even take that step in the first place? Let go and trust God.
Afraid to Show Emotions: Some men think they have to hold it all inside. Christian women want a man who is open and honest with them about the relationship as well as about their lives, their spirituality and their beliefs. Don’t be afraid to share your feelings about God and religion or your feelings about her. Hiding your emotions could cost you the perfect girl.
Commitment Anxiety: It’s ok to be nervous about settling down with one person for the rest of your life but dating is essentially preparing you for that. If you are afraid of commitment, a Christian woman is probably going to feel like she is wasting her time with you. Sometimes this comes from past failed relationships or other problems left unresolved in your life. Get it taken care of so that you are fully ready to commit to the right woman once you find her.
Find Christian Love
You can find Christian love with the right person and you don’t have to compromise your morals or religious values to do so. If you avoid these common mistakes by single Christian men, you will greatly increase your chances of enjoying your dates and finding the right person for you.
Take some time to learn what you are looking for in a date and also to build your confidence and respect your own value and worth. This will all help you to find Christian love and avoid the mistakes that so many men make every day.
Dating in these times is never easy and it can be particularly difficult for those who are trying to live a clean and Christian life. Christian girls in particular can have a difficult time because trying to maintain chastity when it seems like everyone else is not can make them feel left out.
There are shows on television that celebrate premarital sex and pregnancy not to mention the boys and men who do not understand how important this topic is for her. So what does a Christian girl need to know before dating? The following are some tips to make sure she stays safe while still attempting to find love:
- Date Men of Your Own Faith – While this is not something that is set in stone, it is always easier to date a man who feels and believes the same things that you do. There are many different churches that have their own set of rules for their followers so if you are with someone who believes exactly the way you do, you do not have to explain yourself as much. When you say you want to wait until marriage, he will understand and will not pressure you to do things you are uncomfortable with.
- Only Date a Man who is Responsible – The best thing a Christian girl can do is date a man who is already responsible in his life. This means he should already have a job and should be self sufficient. If he cannot even bother to work to support himself, then he is not a good provider and would not provide for you and the children should you have any. He would probably not be responsible enough to allow you to maintain your chastity until the wedding night.
- He Honors God as You Do – You want a man who honors God as much as you do because at the end of the day, what do is for Him. You want your children to grow up knowing God as you do and having a husband who honors Him as well makes this much easier. A man who does not have the same honor you do may not allow you to take the children to church and may not want them to have the same faith. He may even attempt to keep you from your faith so this is a very important tip.
- Ask God for Guidance – Once you have met a man who you enjoy spending time with, who has the same beliefs, is responsible and honors God, you should pray for guidance. Only God knows who you should be with and you should leave the decision in his hands. He will let you know if you are making the right decision. There are no questions; you will simply know in your heart what you must do and if the man you like is the right one for you.
Christian Girls Can Find a Godly Man
If you follow the above tips then you do not have to worry about whether or not you have found the right man. The answer will be right in front of you. Just keep in mind that a man who loves God and who loves you would never ask you to do anything that would make you uncomfortable or that would compromise your faith.
He will honor you as a woman and will wait for the wedding night to consummate the relationship if that is how you feel. He will also want the children to be raised with the love of God that you both feel. There are good men out there and dating can be a wonderful time in your life, you just have to be careful and know who you are dating before you give your heart to him.
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