Anyone who is looking to start dating needs to take a step back and understand who they are before they try to figure out who they want to date in the future.  While the old saying is true that opposites attract, if you do not know who you are, how can you know your opposite is?  Having said that, there are some things that are a given for Christian dating.  You know you want another Christian in your life because it is simply easier to for them to understand where you are coming from, but your personality is not just about your belief system.  It is about who you are a person in general, your likes and dislikes, your attitudes and your feelings.  The following are some tips to help you know your personality traits before dating:

Common Personality Traits

In order to help you learn your basic personality traits, it is important to look over a list and see which ones fit you more than others.  Do not be surprised to find that you have more than one trait because each individual is diverse and when you are looking for a partner, they will have more than one too.  It is up to you to decide which traits are the most important to you and how you handle someone who is different that you.  Some people enjoy the diversity that comes with being around people who are not like them while others tend to stick with people who they feel connected to because they do share the same traits.

  • Outgoing – This person does not have a problem talking to new people and making others feel welcome in social situations.  They are the first ones to make friends when put in a situation where they do not know anybody.  You can spot the outgoing person because they always seem to have a smile on their face for everyone and they flit like a butterfly from one group to the next.
  • Introvert – The introvert is the exact polar opposite of the outgoing personality because they do not like to start conversations.  These are the people who hang on the edge of the group and who do not join in many discussions.  Some would call them the wallflower but once the wallflower opens up, they can be great company and are more comfortable with people they know.
  • Dependable – There is always one person in your group who can be depended upon no matter what the issue is or how much you need them.  They are there for the little and big things and will drop everything when you call.  These are the dependable trait people and they are some of the most popular because they do go that extra mile.
  • Caregiver – This is the person who wants to take care of everyone in your social circle.  You know this person too, they always have chicken soup at the ready when you are sick or who comes to your aid when your tire is flat.  They simply cannot live their lives without offering a shoulder to cry on or a happy conversation when things are going well.
  • Happy Go Lucky – When you think of the happy go lucky person you have to think about the one who is always smiling, cracking jokes and making everyone in the room feel good.  It seems as though nothing bothers them and they sort of flit through life without a care.  Deep down, there may be some problems but they would never let you know that and they keep their troubles to their self.
  •  Deep Thinker – The deep thinker can be mistaken for the introvert but they are not shy, they would rather think things through before making a decision.  They never speak out until they have had the time to ponder the issue in order to give a full accounting of what they believe.  They can be quick witted, however, they choose their words carefully and never rush to conclusions.

What These Personality Traits Mean for Christian Singles

You may have noticed that there is a lack of negative traits that were listed.  That is because the traits you want to emphasize and work on are the positive ones.  You do not want to fall into any negative trait patterns and you certainly do not want date anyone with them.  If you think of the opposite of the above traits, such as the opposite of the caregiver, this person would be a user and who wants to be used for any reason?  A good Christian strives to be the best person that they can be and any of the above traits are good ones to have.

What Traits to Look for in a Date

  • Optimism – The first thing that makes a good date is one who is optimistic and who looks at the bright side of life.  This does not mean they need to have a Pollyanna personality or that they should have their head in the sand.  But you want someone who can look at a difficult situation and find a way to make it a positive rather than dwelling on the negative.  There is nothing in life that cannot be gone through with a positive spouse and God by your side.
  • Sound Mental Attitude – There are many people out there who have mental issues but this is not the same thing as an attitude.  The attitude is how they deal with the little things in life and can be similar to being optimistic.  While they may not always be happy about the problems, they tackle them head on and get them out of the way.  They do not wallow in self pity nor do they make others feel to blame for their problems.
  • Give and Take – You do not want to be with someone who is a taker.  A good potential spouse wants to share with you and gives as much as they take.  Also, you do not want someone who is just giving all the time because this can leave you feeling like you always owe them something.  Find someone who can share this middle ground with you and you will not be disappointed in the results.
  • Thoughtful and Considerate – Finally, you really want someone who is thoughtful and considerate of not just you but everyone in their life.  This person lives by the “do unto others” rule and they do it well.  You will never be let down by a person who has this trait because they will not be happy if you are not happy.

While dating today can be difficult for any Christian, if you seek out the people who offer you the above traits, or at least a preponderance of them, then you know they are a good person.  It is sad to say but not all Christians are good or Godly people.  Many people put up a good front in church but have a completely different style of life when they are at home.  You can spot these people after just one date and if you find yourself with one, do not accept another date with them.  There are plenty of good people in the in world to choose from and you will find the perfect one for you.