When you first start dating as a Christian, character takes on a renewed importance. Everybody would like to have a partner with awesome character traits, but when you are a Christian it takes on a whole other level of importance. Christians are concerned with their eternity as well as their earthly existence. For this reason, it is important to have a plan on how to determine character traits in a potential partner. Here are ten questions you might ask yourself about a potential partner:
Would I trust them with my future or present children?
If you would not want them to be a parent to your present or future children, then it is a fair bet you will not want them around at all long term. Not everybody has children, but pretty much everyone wants a person that would be okay around children. People that hate kids will be tough to sell as Christians. All kidding aside, this is a very important character trait to show a humane and loving spirit. See how they are around children.
Are they financially dependable?
Finances are far from the top of the list, but they are certainly on the list. Christian or not, a partner needs to be dependable with their money and their work. If you ignore this character trait, you very easily could find yourself taking care of someone with little to no help at all. Look for a partner that will accentuate your efforts not stall them.
Do they have an addictive personality?
A man that goes out and gambles his paycheck, drinks like a fish and then comes home to his wife is likely to be a bad catch. Sounds pretty obvious, huh? The fact is, addictive personalities come in all shapes and sizes and not all of them are as obvious as the example above. Look at your partner and ask yourself if they are a slave to anything. Look closely and you will likely start to see some things. We all have something, but if those things are mostly evil or bad character traits, then perhaps you should keep looking.
Do they put God first?
God should be the center of a Christian’s universe at their core. If your potential partner only believes when it is convenient or when things are going good, then you need to consider that. God should be first all the time and you are right to want that in a partner as well. If you are moving towards God together, the focus will be clear all the time. If one of you is falling backwards it makes it much harder. Consider this when finding your life partner.
Are they generous to others when needs arise?
Giving is a tough thing in today’s world. There are many scams out there that can keep us giving constantly. I once wanted to give some money to a homeless man but noticed he always used it to buy beer. A wise friend pointed out to me that this was not my concern. My charge in life was to be generous and let God work out the rest. Your partner should want to help their fellow man as a Christian.
Are they honest financially?
As important as it is to work and be responsible with money, it is also important to be honest with it. Do they pay what they say they will pay? Do they cheat people? Do they spend time finding ways to take money from others? If so, then you need to move on and find someone with better character traits.
What are their views on sex?
Sex is a beautiful thing, and it is important to be on the same page. If your future husband has a porn addiction that is stashed in the shed, you should be privy to it at least. If they are into all sorts of fetishes and strangeness, you have right to know up front. Talk to your partner and get their views on sex. Make certain they match up with your own. That is the worst thing to find out about after you are married in the world. You can discuss this before being married and still keep your vow.
What are their views on marriage?
Speaking of vows, marriage is important to most Christian women and men. How does your partner feel about this? When do they think marriage should happen and are they willing to consider it down the road? Some folks never intend to get married. Do you really want to find that out after several years?
Do we match up well in our political views?
Politics are far more important than one might think when it comes to building a life together. Talk over your political views and you will eventually see if you are compatible. Never assume these things are no big deal, because you will one day live to regret it.
Are they loving and kind?
Bottom line, you need a partner that is loving and kind to you and the rest of your family. As a matter of fact, they should be loving and kind to everybody. A warm heart that reaches out in love to those around them is perhaps the finest thing you can find on this earth. That sort of person will enhance your spirit and increase your steps towards the Lord. Never let this be something you will compromise on, because kindness is a demand from our Lord.
Finding a good Christian partner in today’s dating world can be a very tough thing. Much of society lives in the moment rather than for eternity. Pleasure at any price is the mantra of some to be sure. This can make looking for a Christian partner akin to trying to find a needle in a haystack. It is for this reason that many Christians have embraced online dating. Online dating sites come in all shapes and sizes and many of them offer up specific types. There are a number of them that are specific to Christians. This can be a great means to meet that special someone if you are careful and know how to do it safely.
Being Christian, are these sites safe?
While the sites are listed as “Christian dating sites” that does not always mean they are Christian. You have to do your homework with online dating sites to ensure that they are what they say they are. There are a number of ways to do this, but the easiest way is to use referrals. If you have friends that have used a site and can vouch for it, that is the best option. In the absence of that, however, a simple online search about a site can do wonders.
How to ensure a good profile
The Bible is clear about the fact that we should seek others that believe, and an online dating site that is bringing believers together certainly qualifies. Christian men and women come together every single day thanks to online dating sites. The key in finding others that believe is to make your profile clear and to the point. Many just fly through the profile building portion and don’t think about how it might appear to others. If you want solid results and returns, then you need to make certain you make it clear what you want in a partner.
Making clear your necessities
Every person has deal breakers where relationships are concerned. With Christians, the list can be a bit longer depending on how you live your life. Smoking is one example of something that you simply won’t tolerate. We all have something that we absolutely can’t negotiate with. Make this perfectly clear right up front in your profile. It will cut down on your replies, but make the ones you do get much more streamlined.
Specify your belief system
If you are on an online Christian dating site, you might be sharing the site with hundreds of different types of denominations and sub-denominations. While some are very similar, some will be very different. Make sure you make it perfectly clear what matters to you and what does not. If you are seeking a spiritual mate that believes in water baptism only, for example, you might want to mention that. There is no sense lining up a date with someone you already know is incompatible.
Get to know them before meeting them in person
This is the beauty of the Internet. Through chat rooms, forums, email and countless other social outlets, you can literally get to know folks without having to risk an in person visit. You don’t have to spend forever getting to know them, but having some ideas about what they think, do and believe is very important to most Christians and daters in general.
Meeting folks online in these Christian dating sites is very similar to meeting in person. You need to use caution and be selective about who you allow into your life. If you use them properly, however, Christian dating sites can be a gateway to a wonderful relationship with a man or woman that shares your beliefs.
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