When you first start dating as a Christian, character takes on a renewed importance. Everybody would like to have a partner with awesome character traits, but when you are a Christian it takes on a whole other level of importance. Christians are concerned with their eternity as well as their earthly existence. For this reason, it is important to have a plan on how to determine character traits in a potential partner. Here are ten questions you might ask yourself about a potential partner:
Would I trust them with my future or present children?
If you would not want them to be a parent to your present or future children, then it is a fair bet you will not want them around at all long term. Not everybody has children, but pretty much everyone wants a person that would be okay around children. People that hate kids will be tough to sell as Christians. All kidding aside, this is a very important character trait to show a humane and loving spirit. See how they are around children.
Are they financially dependable?
Finances are far from the top of the list, but they are certainly on the list. Christian or not, a partner needs to be dependable with their money and their work. If you ignore this character trait, you very easily could find yourself taking care of someone with little to no help at all. Look for a partner that will accentuate your efforts not stall them.
Do they have an addictive personality?
A man that goes out and gambles his paycheck, drinks like a fish and then comes home to his wife is likely to be a bad catch. Sounds pretty obvious, huh? The fact is, addictive personalities come in all shapes and sizes and not all of them are as obvious as the example above. Look at your partner and ask yourself if they are a slave to anything. Look closely and you will likely start to see some things. We all have something, but if those things are mostly evil or bad character traits, then perhaps you should keep looking.
Do they put God first?
God should be the center of a Christian’s universe at their core. If your potential partner only believes when it is convenient or when things are going good, then you need to consider that. God should be first all the time and you are right to want that in a partner as well. If you are moving towards God together, the focus will be clear all the time. If one of you is falling backwards it makes it much harder. Consider this when finding your life partner.
Are they generous to others when needs arise?
Giving is a tough thing in today’s world. There are many scams out there that can keep us giving constantly. I once wanted to give some money to a homeless man but noticed he always used it to buy beer. A wise friend pointed out to me that this was not my concern. My charge in life was to be generous and let God work out the rest. Your partner should want to help their fellow man as a Christian.
Are they honest financially?
As important as it is to work and be responsible with money, it is also important to be honest with it. Do they pay what they say they will pay? Do they cheat people? Do they spend time finding ways to take money from others? If so, then you need to move on and find someone with better character traits.
What are their views on sex?
Sex is a beautiful thing, and it is important to be on the same page. If your future husband has a porn addiction that is stashed in the shed, you should be privy to it at least. If they are into all sorts of fetishes and strangeness, you have right to know up front. Talk to your partner and get their views on sex. Make certain they match up with your own. That is the worst thing to find out about after you are married in the world. You can discuss this before being married and still keep your vow.
What are their views on marriage?
Speaking of vows, marriage is important to most Christian women and men. How does your partner feel about this? When do they think marriage should happen and are they willing to consider it down the road? Some folks never intend to get married. Do you really want to find that out after several years?
Do we match up well in our political views?
Politics are far more important than one might think when it comes to building a life together. Talk over your political views and you will eventually see if you are compatible. Never assume these things are no big deal, because you will one day live to regret it.
Are they loving and kind?
Bottom line, you need a partner that is loving and kind to you and the rest of your family. As a matter of fact, they should be loving and kind to everybody. A warm heart that reaches out in love to those around them is perhaps the finest thing you can find on this earth. That sort of person will enhance your spirit and increase your steps towards the Lord. Never let this be something you will compromise on, because kindness is a demand from our Lord.
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