The dating scene is not always easy. It’s even harder when you practice a certain faith and are looking for a mate that shares your morals and values. Christian men often make some common but serious mistakes when dating and looking for love. These mistakes can put you on the wrong path and you might then wonder why you can’t find your Ms. Right.
Big Dating Mistakes
When you make these mistakes in dating, you can get in your own way of finding happiness. Your mental state can affect who you attract to you and making certain mistakes might cause you to waste time with the wrong person instead of finding the woman who God has planned for you.
Here are some common dating mistakes men make:
Going After Looks Alone: There’s nothing wrong with a pretty girl but Biblical studies tell us we should look for more than just the outward appearance. While it is true that even Christian men will look at appearance before judging a woman’s faith. While we are all made to have a physical attraction to our mates, we do still have to be careful that we are not going for looks alone. The outward appearance is easily judged but it is what is on the inside that is most important. If you don’t take the time to look deeper, then you close your doors on potential life partners. Are you looking for God’s will in your life or only looking for those you find the prettiest?
Fear of Rejection: Fear of rejection has been holding men back on the dating scene for pretty much forever. While it is not attractive to be over-confident or cocky, it is good to have confidence. You don’t want to be afraid to talk to her or afraid to ask her out because she might say no. When you never take that chance, you never know. It’s possible she’s been waiting all this time for you to ask. Also, how will you handle problems or challenges that come across in your relationship and your lives if you are too afraid of rejection to even take that step in the first place? Let go and trust God.
Afraid to Show Emotions: Some men think they have to hold it all inside. Christian women want a man who is open and honest with them about the relationship as well as about their lives, their spirituality and their beliefs. Don’t be afraid to share your feelings about God and religion or your feelings about her. Hiding your emotions could cost you the perfect girl.
Commitment Anxiety: It’s ok to be nervous about settling down with one person for the rest of your life but dating is essentially preparing you for that. If you are afraid of commitment, a Christian woman is probably going to feel like she is wasting her time with you. Sometimes this comes from past failed relationships or other problems left unresolved in your life. Get it taken care of so that you are fully ready to commit to the right woman once you find her.
Find Christian Love
You can find Christian love with the right person and you don’t have to compromise your morals or religious values to do so. If you avoid these common mistakes by single Christian men, you will greatly increase your chances of enjoying your dates and finding the right person for you.
Take some time to learn what you are looking for in a date and also to build your confidence and respect your own value and worth. This will all help you to find Christian love and avoid the mistakes that so many men make every day.
Finding a good Christian partner in today’s dating world can be a very tough thing. Much of society lives in the moment rather than for eternity. Pleasure at any price is the mantra of some to be sure. This can make looking for a Christian partner akin to trying to find a needle in a haystack. It is for this reason that many Christians have embraced online dating. Online dating sites come in all shapes and sizes and many of them offer up specific types. There are a number of them that are specific to Christians. This can be a great means to meet that special someone if you are careful and know how to do it safely.
Being Christian, are these sites safe?
While the sites are listed as “Christian dating sites” that does not always mean they are Christian. You have to do your homework with online dating sites to ensure that they are what they say they are. There are a number of ways to do this, but the easiest way is to use referrals. If you have friends that have used a site and can vouch for it, that is the best option. In the absence of that, however, a simple online search about a site can do wonders.
How to ensure a good profile
The Bible is clear about the fact that we should seek others that believe, and an online dating site that is bringing believers together certainly qualifies. Christian men and women come together every single day thanks to online dating sites. The key in finding others that believe is to make your profile clear and to the point. Many just fly through the profile building portion and don’t think about how it might appear to others. If you want solid results and returns, then you need to make certain you make it clear what you want in a partner.
Making clear your necessities
Every person has deal breakers where relationships are concerned. With Christians, the list can be a bit longer depending on how you live your life. Smoking is one example of something that you simply won’t tolerate. We all have something that we absolutely can’t negotiate with. Make this perfectly clear right up front in your profile. It will cut down on your replies, but make the ones you do get much more streamlined.
Specify your belief system
If you are on an online Christian dating site, you might be sharing the site with hundreds of different types of denominations and sub-denominations. While some are very similar, some will be very different. Make sure you make it perfectly clear what matters to you and what does not. If you are seeking a spiritual mate that believes in water baptism only, for example, you might want to mention that. There is no sense lining up a date with someone you already know is incompatible.
Get to know them before meeting them in person
This is the beauty of the Internet. Through chat rooms, forums, email and countless other social outlets, you can literally get to know folks without having to risk an in person visit. You don’t have to spend forever getting to know them, but having some ideas about what they think, do and believe is very important to most Christians and daters in general.
Meeting folks online in these Christian dating sites is very similar to meeting in person. You need to use caution and be selective about who you allow into your life. If you use them properly, however, Christian dating sites can be a gateway to a wonderful relationship with a man or woman that shares your beliefs.
There is no better place to find Christian dating advice than in the bible. It’s the one true word of God and it gives you the answers and advice needed to form a lasting relationship that will lead to marriage. Scriptures provide you with the information needed for Christian dating, if you follow this advice it will help you find the person you’re meant to spend your life with.
However, many Christians turn to the Internet to find dating advice instead of the bible. This could be due to a couple of different reasons. For example, we live in a fast pace world where most people stay busy. Between your job, family, church and other obligations, your time may be so limited that you feel like you don’t have time to search through the bible for advice on dating. For this reason, you take a short cut and search online for dating advice.
Another reason may be because you’re impatient and want to hurry up and find that one true love you’ve been waiting for all of your life. This is understandable but you can’t take shortcuts when searching for that special person you want to marry one day. If you’re not careful, you may end up following bad advice that interferes with your relationship with God. It could lead you to marry the wrong person and your marriage could end in divorce.
Can You Find Good Christian Dating Advice Online
While you can find good Christian dating advice online, you have to be very careful where you look. There are more sites giving out bad advice than there are ones using the bible as their guide. If you choose to turn to the Internet for this type of advice, you cannot use the first bit of information that you run across. Take your time and sort through the information and different sites carefully. Follow your instincts and ask God to help you make good choices.
Tips for Finding Good Christian Dating Advice Online
If you choose to use the Internet to look for Christian dating advice, here are a few tips that can help you find the best advice. Look for advice provided by Christians who know the bible and believe the word of God. A non-Christian will not have the knowledge to give advice that falls within the scriptures. The Christian community may not agree with what they believe to be acceptable behavior.
Know that not everyone who claims to be a Christian is one or they may not have the same beliefs that you do. Many people claim to be a Christian who believe it’s okay to have a sexual relationship before marriage or that it’s not a big deal to get a divorce if your marriage fails. This type of advice can do more harm than good.
If something you read does not sound right to you or if you know in your heart that it’s bad advice, don’t follow it. Dating advice is provided as a way to help you pursue a relationship with someone you’re dating. It’s a guide and nothing more. You don’t have to follow the advice word for word. Use your common sense and follow your heart. If you’re not sure if the advice is good or bad, pray about it and turn to the scriptures to help you find the answer.
In fact, it’s a good idea to look for scriptures to backup all of the information you find. This way, you’ll know for sure that the advice you’re using to help you pursue a relationship with someone is good advice. If you can’t find any scriptures that support the information, then think twice before using it. If it’s good Christian advice, you should be able to find scriptures to support it.
Things to Consider
Before you enter into a relationship with another person, you need to mature as a Christian first. When you are ready to date, good Christian dating advice can help you avoid making a lot of common mistakes that many people make. It can help keep you from getting too far ahead of yourself and rushing your relationship.
When searching for good Christian dating advice you can find a lot of wisdom in the pages of the bible. It teaches you how to be a good person and how to truly love others. It teaches you the steps to take to ensure you have found the right person so you don’t jump into a relationship before you’re ready. It can help you find the right person by teaching you how to separate the true Christian from the ones who pretend to be a Christian.
When using online dating advice, don’t get caught up in the moment. Consider what the word of God says at all times. If it encourages a sexual relationship before marriage or suggests you engage in any activity that would be frowned upon by the church, it’s probably not the best advice to be following. It could set you up for major disappointments. Good Christian advice will support the bible and encourage you to follow the laws and guidelines it offers. Any advice that goes against the word of God can make your life more complicated and lead you off the path of Christianity.
You may be wondering how in the world is Christian dating like fishing and you would be right to ask. After all, finding a good man is not easy particularly for Christian women who have a set of morals and beliefs that may not be felt by men in the world. But if you look at dating and use the same tactics that fishermen use to find their fish, you will be surprised at the outcome. There is a certain skill to fishing that can be used in the dating world if you put them in to practice. This goes through the process of finding a good Christian man and how you can be success on your “fishing” adventure.
Fishing Basics
When you go fishing, you do not just find a river, lake or pond and drop any old bait in expecting to catch any old fish. At least, the good fishermen do not do this instead they plan out their fishing excursions to the finest detail. They know the fish they are looking for, the rod and reel they should use the location where the particular fish can be found and the bait that they need to use. This is the same in the dating game. You need to know the type of man you want, what it takes to meet him, where this type of man can generally be found and what you should do to “land” him. It is all about research and learning the places to go to and those places where the right man is not likely to be found.
Now, there are always times when a fisherman expects to catch bass such as in a lake that is known for them, this does not mean there are not other fish there. Alternatively, when you go out for catfish, this does not mean you may not catch crappie. But if you take the time to learn these things, you are more than likely to catch the type of man you want and you can always throw back those who do not have those traits you do not want. This may sound harsh but why waste your time and the man’s time when he does not have the value system, moral code or religious beliefs that you live by?
Translating Fishing into Dating
In order to find the man you want to date and eventually spend your life with, you can use the above fishing analogy to your advantage. Here you will learn the techniques that fishermen use but the only difference is that you are looking for a partner. The following translates fishing techniques into some of the best dating advice for Christian women:
- What Type of Man Do You Want? – Well, this can be a wide open question but there are some prerequisites that you can start off with. Do you want a man who is taller than you or who has a certain hair color? These are very basic questions but they do matter in the long run since you are the one who has to live with your choices. Since you are Christian, it is assumed that you would like a man with the same faith that you have. There are many different faith systems in the Christian religion so you should also know if you want to stay within your denomination or if you are alright dating outside of it.
- What You Should Use to Find a Man – Your mind is the rod and reel that you should use to find a man that you want to be with. You can do this by being smart enough to detect someone early on who is not right for you or who does not bring the values you want in a man. You can also use this to locate the areas where these men can be found just like throwing out your line in the water brings in certain fish. Bass are typically found on the shore and catfish are found in the bottom of the water typically wallowing in the mud.
- Know Where the Fish/Men Are – First of all, you want to target a certain type of man. This is the same as fishing in that a fisherman will go to the ocean for saltwater fish but the lake or river for freshwater fish. If you want to find a good Christian man, you are not finding him hanging out at bars or strip clubs. Instead, cast your line in church or Christian social groups, you can even try a Christian dating site because you know that he has the same love for God that you do. Even the gym is a great place to look for a good man because you know that he cares about his body and the body is a temple of God.
- The Bait – You are the bait so if you want to find a good Christian man you do not want to be dressed inappropriately or to suggestively. Dress modestly while still fashionable and allow him to see the real you and not a person that a good Christian man would not want to associate with. Your personality is your best bait so make sure to always ask him about himself and his interests and be truthful and honest when he asks about you. Let him know up front what you want from a relationship and how he would fit into the plan. While this may seem forward, if he simply wants a sexual relationship and this is not something you want, then you should not waste either your or his time.
- Reeling Him In – Again, you have to reel him in just like a fisherman reels in the fish he catches on his line only this is a live person so you want to be even more cautious. There are times that you may find that you got the catfish that was on the edge of the water instead of the bass you were actually fishing for. Be prepared to let a few go before you find the keeper. Once you find the keeper or the man you want to get to know better, take things slow and allow the relationship to blossom. Many a good fish is lost when a fisherman gets too excited and reels in his line too fast and did not allow the fish to work the line properly. Yes, this step does take the most patience but this is a virtue you should put to good use if you want to find a man who is worthy of your love, time and devotion.
Fishing can be a wonderful sport but it does take patience and determination so be prepared for the down times because once you find the perfect fish/man, the wait is well worth it. Just remember to look for your man in the right location, to offer the right bait, to use the correct tool which is your mind and personality and reel him slowly. Some may still not believe that this process actually works but if you use these tips and take them for what they are, a new way of looking at dating, then you can find the man of your dreams and you can have the fairy tale happy ending!
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