dating a non christianEvery Christian who signs up for an online dating site have come across the non-Christian members who contact you even though you specify Christian matches.  If you are not on a strictly Christian dating site then you are searchable by all members no matter their religious beliefs.  Anyone can contact you and if you do not ask their religion then you may end up dating someone who does not share your faith.  The following are some Christian dating tips for dating a non-Christian:

Do Not Hide Your Religion

Do not hide your religion or your faith from your date.  Be proud of who you are and what you believe in and they will respect you for this.  They may even see the love that you have for God and how it makes your world so much better than theirs.  This is not to say you should push your beliefs on them in a manner that may cause them to stop dating you; instead let them simply see the light.  Your behavior and actions can go a lot further to bring a non-believer to the fold than in your face proselytizing does.  So be proud that you love God and allow your date to see how fulfilled your religion makes you.

Stay True to Your Beliefs

If the single you met on a dating site asks you to go out and you really want to you can say yes certainly.  Just remember to stay true to your beliefs and to not go anywhere that would compromise your religion.  For instance, if you are asked to go to a nightclub for drinks and dancing this is not a proper Christian date.  You should tell the person that this is not something that you could do and ask for a different type of date.  Perhaps going bowling or to see a movie would be a better choice and would allow you to stay true to your faith.

Pray for Guidance

God is always there for you and if you ask him for guidance he will give it to you.  Pray about your new romantic interest and ask God if you are doing the right thing.  He will answer and you will know in your heart if you are making the right decision.  God wants his children to be happy and if this person makes you happy and is a kind and caring soul there should be no problem with you dating them.  Only you and God will know if they are good for you so if you pray hard on this, God will supply you with the answers you are seeking.

Invite Them to Your Church Services or Functions

There is no reason why you cannot ask your date to join you for church services or other church functions.  In any event it does not hurt you to invite them and you may eventually find that they want to be included in your religion.  If they are truly a good person but are not interested in joining you at church you can still date them.  They may just be a bit shy about going into a situation where they feel uncomfortable.  There are always the questions that are asked of them such as what church do they normally attend.  This can make them uncomfortable if they have not been to church in a long time.  Make the offer to take them with you and then let them choose when and if they want to attend services with you.


It can be difficult to meet someone you like at a dating website who does not belong to the same religion as you or who is not a Christian at all.  This does not mean that these types of relationships do not last; it just takes a great deal of patience, tolerance and love on both parts.  You both need to decide if the relationship is worth the work that it will take to make it work.

When you first start dating as a Christian, character takes on a renewed importance. Everybody would like to have a partner with awesome character traits, but when you are a Christian it takes on a whole other level of importance. Christians are concerned with their eternity as well as their earthly existence. For this reason, it is important to have a plan on how to determine character traits in a potential partner. Here are ten questions you might ask yourself about a potential partner:

Would I trust them with my future or present children?

If you would not want them to be a parent to your present or future children, then it is a fair bet you will not want them around at all long term. Not everybody has children, but pretty much everyone wants a person that would be okay around children. People that hate kids will be tough to sell as Christians. All kidding aside, this is a very important character trait to show a humane and loving spirit. See how they are around children.

Are they financially dependable?

Finances are far from the top of the list, but they are certainly on the list. Christian or not, a partner needs to be dependable with their money and their work. If you ignore this character trait, you very easily could find yourself taking care of someone with little to no help at all. Look for a partner that will accentuate your efforts not stall them.

Do they have an addictive personality?

A man that goes out and gambles his paycheck, drinks like a fish and then comes home to his wife is likely to be a bad catch. Sounds pretty obvious, huh? The fact is, addictive personalities come in all shapes and sizes and not all of them are as obvious as the example above. Look at your partner and ask yourself if they are a slave to anything. Look closely and you will likely start to see some things. We all have something, but if those things are mostly evil or bad character traits, then perhaps you should keep looking.

Do they put God first?

God should be the center of a Christian’s universe at their core. If your potential partner only believes when it is convenient or when things are going good, then you need to consider that. God should be first all the time and you are right to want that in a partner as well. If you are moving towards God together, the focus will be clear all the time. If one of you is falling backwards it makes it much harder. Consider this when finding your life partner.

Are they generous to others when needs arise?

Giving is a tough thing in today’s world. There are many scams out there that can keep us giving constantly. I once wanted to give some money to a homeless man but noticed he always used it to buy beer. A wise friend pointed out to me that this was not my concern. My charge in life was to be generous and let God work out the rest. Your partner should want to help their fellow man as a Christian.

Are they honest financially?

As important as it is to work and be responsible with money, it is also important to be honest with it. Do they pay what they say they will pay? Do they cheat people? Do they spend time finding ways to take money from others? If so, then you need to move on and find someone with better character traits.

What are their views on sex?

Sex is a beautiful thing, and it is important to be on the same page. If your future husband has a porn addiction that is stashed in the shed, you should be privy to it at least. If they are into all sorts of fetishes and strangeness, you have right to know up front. Talk to your partner and get their views on sex. Make certain they match up with your own. That is the worst thing to find out about after you are married in the world. You can discuss this before being married and still keep your vow.

What are their views on marriage?

Speaking of vows, marriage is important to most Christian women and men. How does your partner feel about this? When do they think marriage should happen and are they willing to consider it down the road? Some folks never intend to get married. Do you really want to find that out after several years?

Do we match up well in our political views?

Politics are far more important than one might think when it comes to building a life together. Talk over your political views and you will eventually see if you are compatible. Never assume these things are no big deal, because you will one day live to regret it.

Are they loving and kind?

Bottom line, you need a partner that is loving and kind to you and the rest of your family. As a matter of fact, they should be loving and kind to everybody. A warm heart that reaches out in love to those around them is perhaps the finest thing you can find on this earth. That sort of person will enhance your spirit and increase your steps towards the Lord. Never let this be something you will compromise on, because kindness is a demand from our Lord.


If you have children, the time will come when they are ready for dating. This time will vary from family to family but even if your teen does not date until he or she leaves home, it’s your job as the parent to prepare them for when dating does happen. Yet many parents are just not sure how they are supposed to go about this.

There is a great deal of pressure on young people today. They have pressure from peers, from the media and Christian teens also have pressure from their church, their parents or their religious beliefs. It can be very difficult for a young person to face these challenges alone. This is why as a parent, you can teach your teen the right way and then give her the tools needed to make the right decisions when the time comes.

Define What Dating is

A good first step is to take some time to define what dating is. You should talk to your teen about what you consider dating to be and ask for his opinion on what dating is. Then you should take some time to discuss what peers and the media call dating. Explain how as a Christian, you may not feel the same way that non-Christians do about dating and discuss these differences.

Dating within the same faith is always preferred because the end goal is that your teen will end up marrying someone from this group and marriages where people share the same faith usually perform much better because the couple will agree on these very important issues and points.

Set the Rules

God created us to live with others and be peaceful and happy. When we follow God’s plan for us, this is easy to achieve. When we ignore the guidelines He sets forth for us, we can cause pain for ourselves and others. Parents get to set the rules for when teens get to date and what is allowed on a date.

What many teens do not understand is that dating does not have to be romantic or sexual in nature. This is an opportunity to get to know more people so you can determine who you might be compatible with. Group dating is a great way to do this. Sometimes teens have a knack for meeting one person and thinking that is the only person for them. When dating solo and spending all their time with this one person, they believe they are right for one another and may never give other more suitable dates a chance.

Determine when your teen can date and under what conditions. Also take time to set rules on acceptable dating venues. Where can they go? Must an adult be present? These are all things to work out before dating time comes.

Talk about Boundaries

You should spend some time talking with your teen about boundaries. What is ok and what is not ok on a date or when alone with a member of the opposite sex? Your teen needs to know the boundaries and be comfortable with them as well as comfortable saying no if someone tries to cross those boundaries.

You should also be sure your teen has an emergency plan should things go wrong on a date. Talk about safety like date rape, drugs and alcohol and other issues. Never assume that just because he or she is going out with other Christians they are safe and these things won’t happen. While they are typically less likely to happen, the sad truth of the matter is that they can still happen.

Understanding Maturity

In addition to all of these practical tips, another way to prepare your Christian teen for dating is to understand their maturity. Some young people are ready sooner and understand these more easily. Others need more time. Dating should be based on age as well as maturity of the teen. You also need to talk to your teen about the maturity of others she is hanging out with. Everyone might not be on the same page and what one friend is ready for, another might not be. Great communication helps with this.

Summing It All Up

God created man to have a desire for woman and to seek the companionship of a woman. He created the bond of marriage and intends for each of us to have this pleasure on earth. However, the Bible says there are certain ways in which this should be done. The purpose of our partnership is to become married and have children. It’s not all about pro-creating, however. It’s also about companionship and having a close friend like no other. In marriage, the other half is literally your partner and should be your partner in all areas of life and spirituality.

But in order to find that spouse, you often need to date. With these guidelines, you can help prepare your teen for dating and the difficult decisions she might have to make along the way to maintain her purity and find Mr. Right.

Being a single Christian woman can have its own rewards and risks as there are choices in dates that have to be made that would not be an issue for other women.  You want to find a man who is Christian like you and also who has those good qualities most women seek in their men.  While this may seem like a tall order, it is not difficult to weed out those men who are not marriage or husband material so you can concentrate on those who are right.

Why it is Important to Weed Out the Wrong Men

At the end of the day, you do not want to fall in love with a man who is just totally wrong for you.  If you exert your time and energy into a man who does not have the right qualities then you may wind up in a marriage that you cannot get out of with children who are not raised in the Christian faith.  It is not uncommon for a woman to fall head over heels with a man who is not good without ever intending to.  So take the time to get to the right man so when you do fall in love, he has the values and character that you are looking for.

Asking the Right Questions

The following is a list a questions you can ask a man you meet before you date him.  Keep in mind, a good man will never have a problem answering these questions for you if he really cares and wants to be with you for the long term.  A man who does not answer these questions should be avoided at all costs because he is hiding something and it usually is not something good.

  1. Is He Sorry for His Sins? – It is human nature to sin as we all know and while Christians do try to live a sin free life, there are times when everyone slips up.  Being sorry for sin is the first step to atonement so it is important that the man you are with can own up to his sins and feel bad about them.  Those that cannot are not the men you want to be with and could possibly be sociopaths.
  2. Does He Have Too Much Pride? – A man who is too prideful may only be dating you for how it makes him look to others.  While it is one thing to be proud of the person you are with, taking pride too far can lead to dangerous temptations.  The man you want to be with should be more proud of you than he shows in himself.  This does not mean he should not want to be the best person he can be, but having pride in an expensive house and nice car is not a good trait.  Instead, he should show his pride in the works he does for others without expecting praise for it.
  3. Is He Humble? – Does he treat everyone the same no matter who they are?  Is the server at the restaurant just as important to him as the pastor at your church?  If he can honestly say yes and you can observe this in him then he is a humble man.  He does not put stake into the power trips of those who are well to do and everyone is an equal in his eyes.
  4. Is He Patient? – Yes, patience is a virtue but it not one that everyone posses and it is a character trait that you should definitely look for in a man.  At the end of the day, this is the man who may end up being the father to your children.  Do you want a man who patiently answers all your children’s questions about God and life or a man who does not have time for them?  The answer to this question is pretty obvious, isn’t it?
  5. Do Things Anger Him Easily? – A man who gets angry quickly is probably impatient as well so while you may not see the signs of his impatience, he will not be able to his anger.  It takes self control to curb anger and while everyone feels anger, it is how we deal with it that matters.  The man who is angered easily may lash out physically as well as mentally and emotionally.  Watch how he reacts at these times and see if he deals with his anger in a healthy way by talking it out or if he simply lashes out and apologizes later.
  6. Is He a Kind Person? – A kind person can not only speak words of love be he can show you how he feels in the little things he does for you.  This does not mean he buys you expensive pieces of jewelry but perhaps he makes you a nice lunch and brings it to work for you.  Maybe he knows you need comforting and he is there with a welcome shoulder.  These are signs of a kind man and you can spot him because people want to be around him because of his niceness.
  7. Is He Jealous? – Jealousy can be volatile and can turn someone into another person altogether.  While he may seem kind and patient, but as soon as another man talks to you or pays you more attention than he thinks you should be paid, he turns into an animal.  This man should be avoided at all costs.  If he ever shows these signs before you are married, not matter how much you love him, you should reconsider the relationship.  This will not get better after the wedding and in fact he can become violent towards you.
  8. Is He Respectful? – A respectful man will open your door for you and ask you what you would like to do on a date.  He will also respect your wishes about sexual issues that may come up before the wedding and would never expect any more from you than you are comfortable with.  Any man that pressures you to go against your faith is not worth your time or you love.
  9. Does He Put Anything Above God? – In a Christian relationship, God is number one and everything else falls into place behind Him.  Does this man miss church because he has a business meeting that is more important to him?  Will he stay at home watching a sporting game rather than show his devotion to God?  If he cannot put the Lord first, then you nor your children will be first before his work and what he wants.
  10. Does He Share Your Values? – Finally, the man you want to date and ultimately spend your life with should share your values and moral code.  Your potential children will be raised by this man so you want him to instill the same values that you have.  A good man will do this; a man you do not want to be with may try to undermine your morals to your children in his actions.

If you can find a man who you can say has all of the characteristics listed above, then you have found a man worthy of your time and attention.  A good Christian man can be hard to find but the search is well worth it in the long run.  He is the one you raise your children with and who you share the rest of your life with so make sure he is a man you want to be around for a very long time.

Christian dating can be more difficult than many people realize because our faith teaches us that certain things are not allowed, such as putting another person before God or having sex before marriage. These are things that Christians have trouble explaining to those outside of the church, which is why dating someone who understands and believes the same as you do is important.

You cannot give in to wants and desires of the flesh. Instead, you must be careful to put God first in your life and to follow his word in your relationship. This can be difficult sometimes and when you’re dating someone who does not believe the same way as you do, it can be even more difficult. Be careful whom you choose to spend your time with.

When you do find someone that you believe is a good match and you want to get to know them better, here are a few tips for Christian couples on the dating scene that can help your relationship go more smoothly.

Establish a Friendship

The basis for any good relationship is being friends so the first step when entering the dating scene is to form a friendship with the person you’re dating. Talk about all types of topics such as the things that make you happy or sad, your beliefs, your childhood and your goals for the future.

Some conversations should be meaningless and fun just to see the humorous side of your relationship but some of them should be serious. You do need to know how this person believes and what type of relationship they have with the Lord and Savior.

The more you talk the closer you’ll become as friends and this will make it easier to decide if you really are compatible with each other. You will discover things about each other that you love, things that you hate and many things that fall somewhere in-between. Then, you’ll have enough information to determine if you want to continue a relationship with this person.

You’ll discover how much you have in common and it’ll help you to feel comfortable around each other. Being good friends first can help make your marriage stronger if you do choose to continue the relationship but it will also help you decide if you need to just stay friends and look for someone else to date.

The Power of Prayer

Before you venture out on your date, spend some time alone in prayer. Ask for guidance and strength to follow his word and to make the right choices throughout the date. This will help get you in the right frame of mind before even seeing your date, which can help you avoid temptations that can lead your relationship in the wrong direction.

Prayer can also give you the strength to say “no” if your date is asking you to do something that goes against your beliefs instead of giving in. It could be something as simple as seeing a movie that you believe is unfit to watch or something as serious as engaging in sexual activity. All of which can be hard to reject if you don’t pray for guidance and strength.

Remember that when you pray, you are communicating with God in a very personal and intimate way. For this reason, it’s best if you avoid praying together too early in your relationship unless you’re in a group setting.

Beware of the Kiss

This may sound a little strange and even harder to do but kissing can lead you down a very dangerous path if you’re not careful. Therefore, Christian couples need to beware of the kiss. Many believe that you should avoid kissing altogether until you are married. This even includes the engagement stage. There are several reasons for this but the main reason is that kissing instantly creates sexual stimulation. This can make it temping to become more intimate before marriage, which goes against God’s word.

Some Christians believe greeting with a kiss or a kiss goodbye is acceptable. Of course, there are many different ways to kiss. If the kiss does not lead to sexual tension or cause impure thoughts, then it may be acceptable. That’s something that you’ll need to decide for yourself. Pray about it and let God’s word guide you in this area of your relationship.

Things to Consider

In order for a relationship to work both people must have the same beliefs and want the same things. If you don’t have the same moral standards, you’re going to run into many problems. Someone is going to have to change the way they believe or you’ll have to call off the relationship.

The problem is that most of the time, the person with the highest moral standards is the one that ends up compromising and that is a serious problem. When you begin putting worldly things before God, you are essentially turning your back on him and this could eventually interfere with your Christianity.

Use these tips for Christian couples on the dating scene to help you make good choices. Christians have different beliefs so don’t let someone pull you away from God or corrupt your moral standards for the sake of a relationship. Be patient, the right person will come along when the time is right.

Christian dating can be fun and exciting even though there are more restrictions to adhere to. The main restriction involves avoiding a sexual relationship but most everything else is the same. There are several stages of Christian dating that you’ll go through and each one of the stages helps you to get to know the person better, so you can determine exactly what your feelings for them are.

Each stage is just as important as the other in a Christian relationship. If you skip any of the steps, you may find out later that you don’t feel the way you thought you did for the person. Once you have entered into marriage, it’s too late to come to this conclusion, which is why it’s important to follow certain rules when Christian dating.

Companionship Stage

Christian dating should begin with the friendship or companionship stage, which is the beginning of all lasting relationships. This is where you get to know each other better as friends. This is when you should go on double dates until you get to know each other better and then you can venture out and spend some time alone to learn more about each other.

This is also the stage in which you determine if you’re really attracted to the person or not. If you’re not attracted to each other, then it would be difficult to pursue the relationship much further. Being attracted to each other is a natural instinct. It’s nothing wrong with feeling this way towards someone you’re dating and the attraction stage begins as a fantasy. You may imagine what it would be like to date this person or maybe one day to be married to them.

During this stage, take time to talk to each other about your beliefs and goals in life. Discuss your plans for a career, where you want to live, talk about your hobbies and things you like and dislike. The companionship stage usually lasts for about three to six months and at the end of this time if you both still have an interest in each other, it’s time to move on to the next stage.

Confirmation Stage

The confirmation stage occurs when both of you agree that you want to pursue the relationship to see where it goes from here. During the first stage, you’ve more than likely spent a lot of time alone getting to know each other.

Now that you have decided to move the relationship to the next level, it’s time to spend more time with friends and family. That may sound a little strange to many people. Most couples think that once you decide to pursue the relationship that you need to spend more time alone and that’s where problems arise.

One of the biggest problems is that it puts you in a situation that makes it difficult to avoid the temptation of adding sex to your relationship. Emotions can be overwhelming because you already agreed to move the relationship to the next level. You may even feel like you love each other and you couldn’t imagine not spending the rest of your life together. For these reasons, when you put yourself in a situation where you’re alone too much, you may be tempted to break the rules that go alone with Christian dating.

Another reason that you should spend time with others during this stage is because it’s important to see how your relationship holds up in a social environment. When your connection with others is a good one, it helps to strengthen your relationship with each other. You will begin to see your partner’s real character, which means you will see what they are truly like when you’re around other people. You will meet and get to know his or her friends and family.

There will be some things that you really like and some things that you won’t like at all about your date. This is the time when you need to be focusing on these issues so you can decide whether or not you still feel the same way about your date once you see their true personality.

This is also another good reason why you should wait before adding sex to your relationship. You may realize that you’re not comfortable with this person in a social environment. You may discover personality traits that you can’t handle and you may need to end the relationship at this point. This stage usually last between six and twelve months and if you are truly right for each other, this will draw you closer together and you’ll be ready to move on to the next stage.

Engagement Stage

The next stage of Christian dating is the engagement stage. You reach this stage once you have decide you are happy with the person you’re dating and that this is someone you do want to marry and spend the rest of your life with. You’ve been together long enough that you should know a lot about the other person. You’ll know their good and bad points and they’ll know yours.

You will have met each other’s families and friends and you should know just about everything there is to know about him or her. Once you’ve reached the engagement stage you have already decided that you are right for each other so there is no real need to prolong this stage for very long. Two or three months is plenty of time unless you’re planning on a big wedding and you need time to work all of the arrangements out or you have your heart set on getting married during a certain time of the year.

After the engagement stage, comes marriage. This is when you take that final step and say your vows. If you have any doubt in your mind that this is not the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you don’t want to get married. Once the vows have been said and you are joined together in holy matrimony and your marriage has been blessed, there are no longer any restrictions in your relationship.

This is an outline of the stages of Christian dating. It will vary for every couple but it gives you an idea of how the Christian relationship should progress. It will help you learn how to establish a healthy and long-lasting relationship with your Christian partner.

Anyone who is looking to start dating needs to take a step back and understand who they are before they try to figure out who they want to date in the future.  While the old saying is true that opposites attract, if you do not know who you are, how can you know your opposite is?  Having said that, there are some things that are a given for Christian dating.  You know you want another Christian in your life because it is simply easier to for them to understand where you are coming from, but your personality is not just about your belief system.  It is about who you are a person in general, your likes and dislikes, your attitudes and your feelings.  The following are some tips to help you know your personality traits before dating:

Common Personality Traits

In order to help you learn your basic personality traits, it is important to look over a list and see which ones fit you more than others.  Do not be surprised to find that you have more than one trait because each individual is diverse and when you are looking for a partner, they will have more than one too.  It is up to you to decide which traits are the most important to you and how you handle someone who is different that you.  Some people enjoy the diversity that comes with being around people who are not like them while others tend to stick with people who they feel connected to because they do share the same traits.

  • Outgoing – This person does not have a problem talking to new people and making others feel welcome in social situations.  They are the first ones to make friends when put in a situation where they do not know anybody.  You can spot the outgoing person because they always seem to have a smile on their face for everyone and they flit like a butterfly from one group to the next.
  • Introvert – The introvert is the exact polar opposite of the outgoing personality because they do not like to start conversations.  These are the people who hang on the edge of the group and who do not join in many discussions.  Some would call them the wallflower but once the wallflower opens up, they can be great company and are more comfortable with people they know.
  • Dependable – There is always one person in your group who can be depended upon no matter what the issue is or how much you need them.  They are there for the little and big things and will drop everything when you call.  These are the dependable trait people and they are some of the most popular because they do go that extra mile.
  • Caregiver – This is the person who wants to take care of everyone in your social circle.  You know this person too, they always have chicken soup at the ready when you are sick or who comes to your aid when your tire is flat.  They simply cannot live their lives without offering a shoulder to cry on or a happy conversation when things are going well.
  • Happy Go Lucky – When you think of the happy go lucky person you have to think about the one who is always smiling, cracking jokes and making everyone in the room feel good.  It seems as though nothing bothers them and they sort of flit through life without a care.  Deep down, there may be some problems but they would never let you know that and they keep their troubles to their self.
  •  Deep Thinker – The deep thinker can be mistaken for the introvert but they are not shy, they would rather think things through before making a decision.  They never speak out until they have had the time to ponder the issue in order to give a full accounting of what they believe.  They can be quick witted, however, they choose their words carefully and never rush to conclusions.

What These Personality Traits Mean for Christian Singles

You may have noticed that there is a lack of negative traits that were listed.  That is because the traits you want to emphasize and work on are the positive ones.  You do not want to fall into any negative trait patterns and you certainly do not want date anyone with them.  If you think of the opposite of the above traits, such as the opposite of the caregiver, this person would be a user and who wants to be used for any reason?  A good Christian strives to be the best person that they can be and any of the above traits are good ones to have.

What Traits to Look for in a Date

  • Optimism – The first thing that makes a good date is one who is optimistic and who looks at the bright side of life.  This does not mean they need to have a Pollyanna personality or that they should have their head in the sand.  But you want someone who can look at a difficult situation and find a way to make it a positive rather than dwelling on the negative.  There is nothing in life that cannot be gone through with a positive spouse and God by your side.
  • Sound Mental Attitude – There are many people out there who have mental issues but this is not the same thing as an attitude.  The attitude is how they deal with the little things in life and can be similar to being optimistic.  While they may not always be happy about the problems, they tackle them head on and get them out of the way.  They do not wallow in self pity nor do they make others feel to blame for their problems.
  • Give and Take – You do not want to be with someone who is a taker.  A good potential spouse wants to share with you and gives as much as they take.  Also, you do not want someone who is just giving all the time because this can leave you feeling like you always owe them something.  Find someone who can share this middle ground with you and you will not be disappointed in the results.
  • Thoughtful and Considerate – Finally, you really want someone who is thoughtful and considerate of not just you but everyone in their life.  This person lives by the “do unto others” rule and they do it well.  You will never be let down by a person who has this trait because they will not be happy if you are not happy.

While dating today can be difficult for any Christian, if you seek out the people who offer you the above traits, or at least a preponderance of them, then you know they are a good person.  It is sad to say but not all Christians are good or Godly people.  Many people put up a good front in church but have a completely different style of life when they are at home.  You can spot these people after just one date and if you find yourself with one, do not accept another date with them.  There are plenty of good people in the in world to choose from and you will find the perfect one for you.

Sometimes people get the wrong idea about Christian dating. Even many Christians fall into the myths that surround dating among the Christian faith. There are many misconceptions about faith and the attitudes we are supposed to have towards others. Our attitudes towards dating can even influence the types of dates we get and the fun we have with them. If you believe in Christian myths about dating, you might be creating an atmosphere around your dates that is not what you want.

Let’s take a look at these myths and uncover the truth about Christian dating:

The Good Ones Are Taken Already

As we begin to get older and still without a mate, we sometimes begin to feel as though we are all alone in the world. This can lead us to think that we are somehow going to miss out on having a great mate that can share in our walk with the Lord. The truth is, God can bring us anyone at any time. You can rest assured that there is someone out there that is fantastic just like you. You simply have to be willing to strike out into the dating world with convictions about what you want for yourself. The good ones are not already taken. Some people are very careful about who they date and are waiting on the perfect situation. They might be waiting for you!

God Doesn’t Want Me to Find a Mate

The Bible is very clear about wanting us to find a mate. He created Eve for the purpose of giving Adam a mate and creating a planet full of people. If He wanted us to be alone He would have made it so from the beginning and spelled it out in His word. God wants you to live a life that is full of happiness and sharing. Growing close to God alongside a mate that shares your convictions is the greatest feeling in the world, and well worth searching for.

God Will Bring My Special Person to Me

Like most things in life, God allows us to search. If we are willing to seek someone special, then God will certainly help make that possible. He is not going to simply knock down the door with a million mates that all believe as you do. You have to get out there and fellowship! Spend some time getting to know some potential singles and learn about what they have to offer. You might be shocked at how many people fit you once you start looking around.

Christians Can’t Have Fun

Of all the silly Christian myths that are out there, this one always makes me laugh the hardest. Christians can do anything that non-Christians can. They simply choose to do things that are not sinful. It is a pleasure to live this type of lifestyle for Christians and that is something that most can’t relate to. It is not a slavery thing or a feeling of loss. It is actually quite the opposite.

Being a Christian and dating is actually the very definition of fun. Many Christians go to the movies, bowling, picnics, sporting events, dances and various other forms of fun. While some denominations are stricter with their standards than others, they are doing what they are convicted to do. When God convicts a Christian to do something, they are happy to respond with obedience. It is not something that takes away fun at all. It creates fun on a whole new level. Sharing that with a new partner only doubles that fun.

Dating Online is Somehow Wrong or Unfit for a Christian

There was a time when dating online was a problem for Christians. The odds were quite high that you would end up with potential dates that were not of the same beliefs. A Christian often puts their belief in God first, making it very difficult to have a successful partnership with someone that does not believe. For this reason, dating online got a bad name in the church. Over time, however, online dating has changed. Now, you can literally go to online dating websites that are specifically made for Christians of many different denominations. If you want to find someone that believes, it is very easy. Signing up for these online dating sites is rather easy, and you can certainly find likeminded believers much easier now. It is no substitute for church, but it is wonderful to enhance your dating life.

God is Angry with me and that is why I am Alone

While God certainly wants certain behaviors from us, he is not punishing you with a lifetime of being alone. That goes against virtually everything I have ever read in the Bible. God wants us to be together and to celebrate His glory as a group. That is what church, marriage and fellowship are supposed to be all about. Forcing you to a lifetime of being alone is not something that God would seem to want. It is not in the Bible, and that is clear enough for me.

Singles Groups at Church are Boring

Singles groups at church can be boring, so that is not always a myth. The truth is, anywhere can be boring if you let it be. The truth is, singles groups at church can also be exciting, fun, entertaining, spiritually elevating and fruitful in every way. It really depends on who is attending and the attitudes contained within the group. If you want to enjoy a singles group in church but it is boring and uneventful, then take a moment to come up with some ideas on how to make it better. Church groups need some excitement too, so be the change you are wanting to see.

My Past Sins Prevent Me From Being With a True Christian

This is probably the primary problem for many folks wanting to date a Christian. First of all, true Christians are far from perfect. All of them have sinned just like you and they would be headed for a very bad eternity if not for Jesus Christ. That being said, you should never feel as though your past sins (or your present sins) are too heavy for the Lord. God can cleanse it all away no matter what it is. You have to be willing to ask for forgiveness, accept that forgiveness and walk with God from now own. That walk would include fellowship with other believers. Your partner being a Christian only enhances your odds of being closer to God and it certainly does not preclude you from any earthly relationships.

These are far from the only Christian dating myths that are out there, but they certainly are the most prevalent. As you might notice, a large majority of them are laced with our own guilt and projections. The truth is, God knows we are fragile and flawed and made provisions to fix all of that. We simply need to be willing to accept that and join in fellowship with others that agree. This means dating other Christians as well and it can take a lot of the sting out of trying to find a mate. Others that are seeking the same will be drawn to you like a moth to a light. You simply have to be willing to fly out there and seek.

The dating scene is not always easy. It’s even harder when you practice a certain faith and are looking for a mate that shares your morals and values. Christian men often make some common but serious mistakes when dating and looking for love. These mistakes can put you on the wrong path and you might then wonder why you can’t find your Ms. Right.

Big Dating Mistakes

When you make these mistakes in dating, you can get in your own way of finding happiness. Your mental state can affect who you attract to you and making certain mistakes might cause you to waste time with the wrong person instead of finding the woman who God has planned for you.

Here are some common dating mistakes men make:

Going After Looks Alone: There’s nothing wrong with a pretty girl but Biblical studies tell us we should look for more than just the outward appearance. While it is true that even Christian men will look at appearance before judging a woman’s faith. While we are all made to have a physical attraction to our mates, we do still have to be careful that we are not going for looks alone. The outward appearance is easily judged but it is what is on the inside that is most important. If you don’t take the time to look deeper, then you close your doors on potential life partners. Are you looking for God’s will in your life or only looking for those you find the prettiest?

Fear of Rejection: Fear of rejection has been holding men back on the dating scene for pretty much forever. While it is not attractive to be over-confident or cocky, it is good to have confidence. You don’t want to be afraid to talk to her or afraid to ask her out because she might say no. When you never take that chance, you never know. It’s possible she’s been waiting all this time for you to ask. Also, how will you handle problems or challenges that come across in your relationship and your  lives if you are too afraid of rejection to even take that step in the first place? Let go and trust God.

Afraid to Show Emotions: Some men think they have to hold it all inside. Christian women want a man who is open and honest with them about the relationship as well as about their lives, their spirituality and their beliefs. Don’t be afraid to share your feelings about God and religion or your  feelings about her. Hiding your emotions could cost you the perfect girl.

Commitment Anxiety: It’s ok to be nervous about settling down with one person for the rest of your life but dating is essentially preparing you for that. If you are afraid of commitment, a Christian woman is probably going to feel like she is wasting her time with you. Sometimes this comes from past failed relationships or other problems left unresolved in your life. Get it taken care of so that you are fully ready to commit to the right woman once you find her.

Find Christian Love

You can find Christian love with the right person and you don’t have to compromise your morals or religious values to do so. If you avoid these common mistakes by single Christian men, you will greatly increase your chances of enjoying your dates and finding the right person for you.

Take some time to learn what you are looking for in a date and also to build your confidence and respect your own value and worth. This will all help you to find Christian love and avoid the mistakes that so many men make every day.

Finding a good Christian partner in today’s dating world can be a very tough thing. Much of society lives in the moment rather than for eternity. Pleasure at any price is the mantra of some to be sure. This can make looking for a Christian partner akin to trying to find a needle in a haystack. It is for this reason that many Christians have embraced online dating. Online dating sites come in all shapes and sizes and many of them offer up specific types. There are a number of them that are specific to Christians. This can be a great means to meet that special someone if you are careful and know how to do it safely.

Being Christian, are these sites safe?

While the sites are listed as “Christian dating sites” that does not always mean they are Christian. You have to do your homework with online dating sites to ensure that they are what they say they are. There are a number of ways to do this, but the easiest way is to use referrals. If you have friends that have used a site and can vouch for it, that is the best option. In the absence of that, however, a simple online search about a site can do wonders.

How to ensure a good profile

The Bible is clear about the fact that we should seek others that believe, and an online dating site that is bringing believers together certainly qualifies. Christian men and women come together every single day thanks to online dating sites. The key in finding others that believe is to make your profile clear and to the point. Many just fly through the profile building portion and don’t think about how it might appear to others. If you want solid results and returns, then you need to make certain you make it clear what you want in a partner.

Making clear your necessities

Every person has deal breakers where relationships are concerned. With Christians, the list can be a bit longer depending on how you live your life. Smoking is one example of something that you simply won’t tolerate. We all have something that we absolutely can’t negotiate with. Make this perfectly clear right up front in your profile. It will cut down on your replies, but make the ones you do get much more streamlined.

Specify your belief system

If you are on an online Christian dating site, you might be sharing the site with hundreds of different types of denominations and sub-denominations. While some are very similar, some will be very different. Make sure you make it perfectly clear what matters to you and what does not. If you are seeking a spiritual mate that believes in water baptism only, for example, you might want to mention that. There is no sense lining up a date with someone you already know is incompatible.

Get to know them before meeting them in person

This is the beauty of the Internet. Through chat rooms, forums, email and countless other social outlets, you can literally get to know folks without having to risk an in person visit. You don’t have to spend forever getting to know them, but having some ideas about what they think, do and believe is very important to most Christians and daters in general.

Meeting folks online in these Christian dating sites is very similar to meeting in person. You need to use caution and be selective about who you allow into your life. If you use them properly, however, Christian dating sites can be a gateway to a wonderful relationship with a man or woman that shares your beliefs.